My three favorite sports are football, basketball, and baseball. Ever since I was a young boy I have loved the sports and the athletes themselves, looked up to them, admired them, and desperately wanted to be them until my dreams outgrew my athletic ability. However, I have always most loved the games and the drama that almost certainly exists in each sport whether it be in the regular season or the playoffs. But these days sports are being ruined. Slowly but surely the impact of the day to day games are being replaced by legal scandals and cheating and now my favorite television, Sportscenter, which I enjoy the same way Pac Man enjoys strip clubs is making the highlights of games take a backseat to things like the Tim Donaghy scandal, Michael Vick, and Barry Bonds.
Forgive me for being so crass but frankly I don't care. I understand that the Tim Donaghy scandal is a travesty for the NBA and especially their referees, and Michael Vick deserves to be punished if he is guilty of some of the things they say he is and it absolutely should be addressed that Barry Bonds cheated his way to the homerun record but all of these things are only giving sports a black eye, taking away the awesomeness from the actual sports themselves and replacing them with this human interest bullshit which now dominates the highlights on Sportscenter.
For example, today on Sportscenter Chris McKendry dressed in a pinstripe suit that made Tommy DeVito from Goodfellas jealous, interviewed the all-knowing Tim Kurkjin from Cooperstown where classy guys like Cal Ripken Junior and Tony Gwynn were set to be immortalized for laudable and really impressive baseball careers. Yet, it only took McKendry 3 questions about the momentous occassion on hand before she addressed the Hall of Fame's sentiment on Barry Bonds. Bonds deserves to be in the Hall of Fame but that is erroneous. I frankly don't care whether the Hall likes Barry Bonds or not, today was not about Barry Bonds reaching the hall of fame, it was about Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Junior. Just in case this doesn't get you blood boiling just try to watch a Giants game highlight without puking involuntarily. Every at bat by Barry Bonds is shown and scrutinized, even his foul outs and ground outs to second base. I am used to watching sportscenter and watching Omar Vizquel come out of nowhere on a groundball up the middle and make some ridiculous throw to get somebody at first base, or watching Manny Ramirez drive a ball into the triangle at Fenway to clear the bases and win the game for the Red Sox. But now Baseball Tonight wastes 5 minutes of every show going through Bonds' at-bats one by one even when he went 0-4. The game of baseball has been replaced by the enormous black shadow that does not come from Barry Bonds' enlarged cranium but instead from his assault on a record that should not be broken. I want to stop hearing about Barry Bonds and I want to start hearing about the Wild Card Race in both leagues, whether the Yankees are going to catch the Red Sox, and who the hell is going to win the wide open NL West, not about some egotistical cheater who has hit a lot of homeruns.
Now on to the NFL and its posterboy turned pariah, Michael Vick. The season is rapidly approaching as training camp opens all around the country and the talk on sports networks should be focusing on how the Colts are going to defend their Super Bowl title despite their defensive attritions, or whether the Bears are going to be able to survive without Thomas Jones and Lance Briggs and whether Rex Grossman will be able to mature into a bonafide starter. Instead McKendry was at it again, taking just three questions with Chad Johnson, whose sunglasses looked like the same ones my blind neighbor Mr. Davey wears, before she asked what Chad had to say on Michael Vick's indictment. Oh Chris, I am sorry, I forgot Chad Johnson was the official legal liason to what was going on with Michael Vick. If it really must be reported about on Sportscenter than flash to Pedro Gomez in a suit fitting a funeral and ask him some questions. Save Chad Johnson for something funny, or maybe even consider talking about how the Bengals plan on winning the division that features a new Ravens team loaded with offensive talent, and a healthy Ben Roethilsberger. Michael Vick deserves to be punished but I don't deserve to be fed unimportant updates on his court case every day on NFL Live. I am a devoted NFL fan, someone who watches the sport because I love the excitement of the sacks, 80 yard touchdown passes, and Devin Hester making punt teams look silly punt return after punt return. I am a football fan, not a fan of watching Michael Vick walk into a courthouse day after day. I want to be treated to 30 minutes of analysis, predicitions and highlights on football, but instead I am ashamed to admit that I change the channel from Sportscenter when they start talking about Michael Vick. Legal issues are to sports what church is to state, they should remain seperated at all costs. Show people like Michael Vick, Tank Johnson and Pac Man Jones on Judge Judy instead of the hilbillies suing each other for stealing overalls and wrecking trailers, but leave Sportscenter for real sports stories, please, before I go postal.
Now on to the NBA. Tim Donaghy has left a mark on the NBA that no matter how hard David Stern scrubs, will never come off. From now until the end of organized, professional basketball the actual game outcome will be in question because honest referees made calls as they saw them and are unable to escape from the idea that they could be like Tim Donaghy. Before Donaghy I was excited, Ray Allen was coming to the Celtics, Kevin Garnett, my favorite player, was on the verge of being traded to a contender, and Kobe Bryant did a roast of Andrew Bynum of Comedy Central...oops. Now Tim Donaghy gets all the attention, I just want him to go away, I want the legal system to sort him out and the NBA to go back to being about how the Rockets improved this off-season and whether or not the Spurs can hold off Dallas and Phoenix again this season. I love the NBA, watching people like Gilbert Arenas score in 80 different ways does the same thing a viagra pill would do for me. Watching Steve Nash throw passes for lay ups while he winks at the hot blonde in the 3rd row is awesome, it makes me say "ohhhhhhhh" while Tim Donaghy makes me want to go put my head in a vise and tighten it. I understand that is an important topic to discuss because something like this does not happen very often and it hasn't since Pete Rose, but its lamentable that Sportscenter and reporters around the country have to linger on it. Its like the upcoming season is put on hold while everyone around the country weighs in on a mobbed up referee who has effectively ruined a part of basketball.
Even things like Cycling is tarnished by doping scandals, its impossible to escape the gloom that is scandal in professional sports these days. My suggestion? Create a seperate tv show for this kind of stuff. Maybe E truly hollywood story on Michael Rasmussen or Tim Donaghy, and then return Sportscenter to what has made it the best show ever and thats the sports, the show isn't popular because Linda Cohn looks good in a power suit, its popular because sports are the most popular activities in the country because of the drama that each sport has the opportunity to provide. I think everyone needs to pause and remember that before its too late and I am hearing about Kevin Garnett being chased by the police through 8 states while he has a bloodied and beaten Kevin Mchale in the trunk...on second thought, I would probably watch that.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Friday, July 6, 2007
Little League Baseball
I am sure I am not the only one who tries to earn money a lot of different ways and one of my favorite ways is moonlighting as a little league umpire. Some people get the umpire patch to ump older kids and they get to wear those really sweaty outfits with the pants that I am pretty sure are made out of polyester and get a very official looking broom to clean the plate. Meanwhile I am on the adjacent field on a hot summer day smirking in a t-shirt and shorts with shin protectors that are one and the same as the ones the kids play with, a catcher's mask and a a foam pad.
On this particular day it was the All-Star Games for the 12-13 age group. I played this same age group in this same town made one all-star game and blew my only chance when I went to Vermont instead with my family. Now here I was watching kids 7 years younger than me play a game where no pitcher can throw more than one inning and it is a 7 inning game instead of a regular 6 inning for more at bats, and the glory of it all is these kids can all play!
The first pitcher thrown in the game was a high fastball that the catcher didn't quite nab it, which happens frequently when they close their eyes. The ball smacked me right in the face and it rang my bell really good. The bottom line of that mini-story is that these kids can really pitch. Every pitcher I saw in the game, and I saw 12, threw hard and straight. Mixed with some early signs of a curveball and these kids struck out the side probably 5 times combined. The fielding was the best part. A kid was erased trying to stretch a single off the fence because of a perfect relay between centerfielder and the cut off man. My heart lept a little like when I watched Jacoby Ellsbury turn on the jets and score from second on a passed ball. There were stolen bases, but there were also kids who got thrown out stealing a base. There were errors, but there were more exciting catchs and close plays that far outweighed any booted ground ball in my book. The final score was 9-7, and at young ages some of those runs are attributed to pastballs that advance the baserunners a minimum of two bases per inning, but this game had some excitement on the offensive side as well.
Don't judge me, I like to pick favorite kids in the games. Some of them I recognize as younger brothers of some of my classmates and some of them I have never seen before. My favorite in this game was this huge kid who reminded me a lot of younger, rounder Lance Berkman without the neck beard. Not only was he a sight to see when he ambled to the batters box, but he also had a positive attitude about everything and ran on and off the field every inning from whatever position. Oh... did I mention hit two solo home runs in the game one carried the fence in left made in likeness of the Fens, and the other went to dead center field, and they were two of the longest home runs I had seen hit. His first home run, to left, almost made me leap up and yell a little. It reminded of one of those homers Manny hits when he catches it right where he wants it and the ball leaves the park onto Landsdowne Street in about 3 seconds. The place went wild and this big kid pumped his fist once as he rounded first and then trotted the rest of the bases like he had done it before, greeted by loud cheers from the crowd and then at home plate by the rest of his team yelling far louder. In the 6th he actually hit a raw curveball that spun, but really shouldn't have been thrown by a 13 year old. It disappeared in the tree line about 15 feet behind the fence and to be honest it made me cry a little deep down to know that I was always a decent baseball player, but also very weak, so I was purely a singles hitter.
In all it was one of the more entertaining games of baseball I had seen in a long time and really made me miss the days when I could spend my spring and summer playing organized baseball with friends. In all; 3 kids hit home runs in the game, there was one suicide squeeze that worked and one that ended in a double play, and two legit web gems. One of the gems was the third basemen sprinting full on to catch a ball in foul territory and making an impossible catch high against the dugout fence as he crashed into it.
I called a pretty fair game, the coaches thanked me and paid me, and I left for home with my hunger for exciting baseball whetted for the night. Right as I was leaving my fellow, and patched, umpire was taking a little league bat and hitting baseballs over the short left field fence while kids jumped up and down and the coaches watched a little more money just disappear into the woods because a 20 year kid is still playing Gym class hero after umping their sons baseball games. I knew one of the coaches and said "If you want me to, I can do that on our field if you really need me to show him up." The coach laughed and answered, "Yeah, remember that kid from little league, he was a friggin noodlehead." Noodlehead is a sweet insult, and my fellow umpire richly deserved it.
On this particular day it was the All-Star Games for the 12-13 age group. I played this same age group in this same town made one all-star game and blew my only chance when I went to Vermont instead with my family. Now here I was watching kids 7 years younger than me play a game where no pitcher can throw more than one inning and it is a 7 inning game instead of a regular 6 inning for more at bats, and the glory of it all is these kids can all play!
The first pitcher thrown in the game was a high fastball that the catcher didn't quite nab it, which happens frequently when they close their eyes. The ball smacked me right in the face and it rang my bell really good. The bottom line of that mini-story is that these kids can really pitch. Every pitcher I saw in the game, and I saw 12, threw hard and straight. Mixed with some early signs of a curveball and these kids struck out the side probably 5 times combined. The fielding was the best part. A kid was erased trying to stretch a single off the fence because of a perfect relay between centerfielder and the cut off man. My heart lept a little like when I watched Jacoby Ellsbury turn on the jets and score from second on a passed ball. There were stolen bases, but there were also kids who got thrown out stealing a base. There were errors, but there were more exciting catchs and close plays that far outweighed any booted ground ball in my book. The final score was 9-7, and at young ages some of those runs are attributed to pastballs that advance the baserunners a minimum of two bases per inning, but this game had some excitement on the offensive side as well.
Don't judge me, I like to pick favorite kids in the games. Some of them I recognize as younger brothers of some of my classmates and some of them I have never seen before. My favorite in this game was this huge kid who reminded me a lot of younger, rounder Lance Berkman without the neck beard. Not only was he a sight to see when he ambled to the batters box, but he also had a positive attitude about everything and ran on and off the field every inning from whatever position. Oh... did I mention hit two solo home runs in the game one carried the fence in left made in likeness of the Fens, and the other went to dead center field, and they were two of the longest home runs I had seen hit. His first home run, to left, almost made me leap up and yell a little. It reminded of one of those homers Manny hits when he catches it right where he wants it and the ball leaves the park onto Landsdowne Street in about 3 seconds. The place went wild and this big kid pumped his fist once as he rounded first and then trotted the rest of the bases like he had done it before, greeted by loud cheers from the crowd and then at home plate by the rest of his team yelling far louder. In the 6th he actually hit a raw curveball that spun, but really shouldn't have been thrown by a 13 year old. It disappeared in the tree line about 15 feet behind the fence and to be honest it made me cry a little deep down to know that I was always a decent baseball player, but also very weak, so I was purely a singles hitter.
In all it was one of the more entertaining games of baseball I had seen in a long time and really made me miss the days when I could spend my spring and summer playing organized baseball with friends. In all; 3 kids hit home runs in the game, there was one suicide squeeze that worked and one that ended in a double play, and two legit web gems. One of the gems was the third basemen sprinting full on to catch a ball in foul territory and making an impossible catch high against the dugout fence as he crashed into it.
I called a pretty fair game, the coaches thanked me and paid me, and I left for home with my hunger for exciting baseball whetted for the night. Right as I was leaving my fellow, and patched, umpire was taking a little league bat and hitting baseballs over the short left field fence while kids jumped up and down and the coaches watched a little more money just disappear into the woods because a 20 year kid is still playing Gym class hero after umping their sons baseball games. I knew one of the coaches and said "If you want me to, I can do that on our field if you really need me to show him up." The coach laughed and answered, "Yeah, remember that kid from little league, he was a friggin noodlehead." Noodlehead is a sweet insult, and my fellow umpire richly deserved it.
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