Why Sports Stink Right Now

My three favorite sports are football, basketball, and baseball. Ever since I was a young boy I have loved the sports and the athletes themselves, looked up to them, admired them, and desperately wanted to be them until my dreams outgrew my athletic ability. However, I have always most loved the games and the drama that almost certainly exists in each sport whether it be in the regular season or the playoffs. But these days sports are being ruined. Slowly but surely the impact of the day to day games are being replaced by legal scandals and cheating and now my favorite television, Sportscenter, which I enjoy the same way Pac Man enjoys strip clubs is making the highlights of games take a backseat to things like the Tim Donaghy scandal, Michael Vick, and Barry Bonds.

Forgive me for being so crass but frankly I don't care. I understand that the Tim Donaghy scandal is a travesty for the NBA and especially their referees, and Michael Vick deserves to be punished if he is guilty of some of the things they say he is and it absolutely should be addressed that Barry Bonds cheated his way to the homerun record but all of these things are only giving sports a black eye, taking away the awesomeness from the actual sports themselves and replacing them with this human interest bullshit which now dominates the highlights on Sportscenter.

For example, today on Sportscenter Chris McKendry dressed in a pinstripe suit that made Tommy DeVito from Goodfellas jealous, interviewed the all-knowing Tim Kurkjin from Cooperstown where classy guys like Cal Ripken Junior and Tony Gwynn were set to be immortalized for laudable and really impressive baseball careers. Yet, it only took McKendry 3 questions about the momentous occassion on hand before she addressed the Hall of Fame's sentiment on Barry Bonds. Bonds deserves to be in the Hall of Fame but that is erroneous. I frankly don't care whether the Hall likes Barry Bonds or not, today was not about Barry Bonds reaching the hall of fame, it was about Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Junior. Just in case this doesn't get you blood boiling just try to watch a Giants game highlight without puking involuntarily. Every at bat by Barry Bonds is shown and scrutinized, even his foul outs and ground outs to second base. I am used to watching sportscenter and watching Omar Vizquel come out of nowhere on a groundball up the middle and make some ridiculous throw to get somebody at first base, or watching Manny Ramirez drive a ball into the triangle at Fenway to clear the bases and win the game for the Red Sox. But now Baseball Tonight wastes 5 minutes of every show going through Bonds' at-bats one by one even when he went 0-4. The game of baseball has been replaced by the enormous black shadow that does not come from Barry Bonds' enlarged cranium but instead from his assault on a record that should not be broken. I want to stop hearing about Barry Bonds and I want to start hearing about the Wild Card Race in both leagues, whether the Yankees are going to catch the Red Sox, and who the hell is going to win the wide open NL West, not about some egotistical cheater who has hit a lot of homeruns.

Now on to the NFL and its posterboy turned pariah, Michael Vick. The season is rapidly approaching as training camp opens all around the country and the talk on sports networks should be focusing on how the Colts are going to defend their Super Bowl title despite their defensive attritions, or whether the Bears are going to be able to survive without Thomas Jones and Lance Briggs and whether Rex Grossman will be able to mature into a bonafide starter. Instead McKendry was at it again, taking just three questions with Chad Johnson, whose sunglasses looked like the same ones my blind neighbor Mr. Davey wears, before she asked what Chad had to say on Michael Vick's indictment. Oh Chris, I am sorry, I forgot Chad Johnson was the official legal liason to what was going on with Michael Vick. If it really must be reported about on Sportscenter than flash to Pedro Gomez in a suit fitting a funeral and ask him some questions. Save Chad Johnson for something funny, or maybe even consider talking about how the Bengals plan on winning the division that features a new Ravens team loaded with offensive talent, and a healthy Ben Roethilsberger. Michael Vick deserves to be punished but I don't deserve to be fed unimportant updates on his court case every day on NFL Live. I am a devoted NFL fan, someone who watches the sport because I love the excitement of the sacks, 80 yard touchdown passes, and Devin Hester making punt teams look silly punt return after punt return. I am a football fan, not a fan of watching Michael Vick walk into a courthouse day after day. I want to be treated to 30 minutes of analysis, predicitions and highlights on football, but instead I am ashamed to admit that I change the channel from Sportscenter when they start talking about Michael Vick. Legal issues are to sports what church is to state, they should remain seperated at all costs. Show people like Michael Vick, Tank Johnson and Pac Man Jones on Judge Judy instead of the hilbillies suing each other for stealing overalls and wrecking trailers, but leave Sportscenter for real sports stories, please, before I go postal.

Now on to the NBA. Tim Donaghy has left a mark on the NBA that no matter how hard David Stern scrubs, will never come off. From now until the end of organized, professional basketball the actual game outcome will be in question because honest referees made calls as they saw them and are unable to escape from the idea that they could be like Tim Donaghy. Before Donaghy I was excited, Ray Allen was coming to the Celtics, Kevin Garnett, my favorite player, was on the verge of being traded to a contender, and Kobe Bryant did a roast of Andrew Bynum of Comedy Central...oops. Now Tim Donaghy gets all the attention, I just want him to go away, I want the legal system to sort him out and the NBA to go back to being about how the Rockets improved this off-season and whether or not the Spurs can hold off Dallas and Phoenix again this season. I love the NBA, watching people like Gilbert Arenas score in 80 different ways does the same thing a viagra pill would do for me. Watching Steve Nash throw passes for lay ups while he winks at the hot blonde in the 3rd row is awesome, it makes me say "ohhhhhhhh" while Tim Donaghy makes me want to go put my head in a vise and tighten it. I understand that is an important topic to discuss because something like this does not happen very often and it hasn't since Pete Rose, but its lamentable that Sportscenter and reporters around the country have to linger on it. Its like the upcoming season is put on hold while everyone around the country weighs in on a mobbed up referee who has effectively ruined a part of basketball.

Even things like Cycling is tarnished by doping scandals, its impossible to escape the gloom that is scandal in professional sports these days. My suggestion? Create a seperate tv show for this kind of stuff. Maybe E truly hollywood story on Michael Rasmussen or Tim Donaghy, and then return Sportscenter to what has made it the best show ever and thats the sports, the show isn't popular because Linda Cohn looks good in a power suit, its popular because sports are the most popular activities in the country because of the drama that each sport has the opportunity to provide. I think everyone needs to pause and remember that before its too late and I am hearing about Kevin Garnett being chased by the police through 8 states while he has a bloodied and beaten Kevin Mchale in the trunk...on second thought, I would probably watch that.